About a week ago, I felt like I was to describe the season of my life that I find myself in. This was written down just for me to meditate and ponder and share with folks as it came to me. But recently, I have felt like I need to make it a blog post. This is a different posting from others and I don’t know who this is for, but I believe it is for someone. ~Kelita
“Sometimes I feel like I am in a jungle where it is dark most of the time. I hear spooky sounds, frightening calls and there is death, poisonous plants and snakes all around me. I feel like I am walking this narrow path and I am all alone; yet, I can hear my Father and I know if I follow the sound of His voice, He will lead me to safety.
On one side there is quicksand – it is full of doubt – voices screaming to look at reality and doom and gloom. I know if I let myself become distracted by it for even a minute, I may be swallowed up. I could sink into the muck mire! It is so tempting to look because I want to be realistic, but I can only afford to give a glance that way – just enough to know that there is a line and I cannot cross it. I must shut out the doubt and the gossip and lies that scream for my attention! It will take me off course and if I veer off course, those who are attached to me will veer with me! I will stay strong! I will not look to the left or the right!
Then on the other side I also hear noises… sense danger, see snakes, lions, preying creatures –things that remind me that the only way to rise above this noise is to use my voice and pray in the Spirit! For if I give in to the fear, I will be paralyzed and no good to anyone. There are moments of light, but it is only when I look up – and get past the tall trees of this jungle forest. I listen for my Father, and I step loudly – sure footed – and confident in the Word of my God. I feel vibrations from the earth and I can “hear” victory in the distance. But how far in the distance? I cannot tell!!!! When the natives in the shadows beat their drums I lift my voice to God and sing! If I do not, I will not be able to rise above their noise!
So I will take the nonsense they intend for evil and use it as a weapon against them! I will not look to the left or to the right! I will keep my eyes fixed on Him. I will feel the rhythm of Heaven through my steps and I will make it through! I do not see light yet…… even though I can tell the difference between night and day, but only if I look up. Looking straight ahead tells me nothing – I see no way out, no escape at this time. I only know that I am to keep moving one step at a time. I take a step, declare the word, and then He lights the next step. I truly know the meaning of “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” (Psalm 119:105) I know, if I keep moving I will make it to the end of the jungle – to my next level of faith and strength. I will conquer this season! I must keep walking! I cannot turn around even if I want to because I would never find my way back. The path has been marred and it would only take me deeper and deeper into the jungle and not where I want to go! I have no choice! I must go through! The sounds that I hear are the most fearful I have ever heard, yet, when I look up, I see the most beautiful sky and my fear fades. I know my God is with me and I know I will make it through.
Sometimes, it is tempting to sit down and just rest – and wait because I get tired – but the surroundings are not going anywhere! I have no peace if I sit down! I have no peace if I stop! I am compelled by the destination ahead to keep moving. I hear my destiny calling, although faint and in the distance, it is calling me! I have to keep moving! Time is always moving! I have wasted enough time in my life! Fear has held me back long enough. The safety of the world around me was easy, but I would never learn the faithfulness of my God had I not taken this way. I would never have learned to battle nor sharpened my battle skills had I taken the easy way. And, there would be people in difficult situations, perhaps people that I love, that I would not be able to help because I would not be able to withstand the pressure and attacks that come with the territory the enemy has dragged them off to. My Father is faithful and He is teaching me. I cannot stop, I cannot miss my appointed time and destination! I will arrive right when I am supposed to and intersect with the situation ahead in His timing and then I will be prosperous and have great success! For I am not allowing the Word of God to depart from my mouth, but I meditate on it day and night! (Joshua 1:8) It is my hope! My only hope!
This is truly a test for me – a test to know that I know that I hear God’s still small voice. His voice has gotten quieter and quieter as the jungle has gotten deeper and deeper. I am learning to hear and obey sooner rather than later. I am learning to quiet my emotions and my surroundings and listen to Him. It’s amazing how well you can listen, when you know your next step and the answers to prayers you have been praying for, standing for and believing for depends on your it. It’s amazing the noise you can drown out if you know your life (and possibly the lives of others) depends on it. When it is life and death – clarity will come if you will remove the distractions of the jungle you live in! Shut it down! Close your eyes! Tune your spirit to your God!
“Father! May I know You! May I know Your ways! May I hear Your voice!”
See, I have dreams, I have goals and I have family that depend on me! Oh, I have not taken on false responsibilities, but, because I cannot fix their problems, my focus MUST be on the ONE who can! Some people who depend on me are not hearing God clearly right now. Some have had their ears plugged and eyes blinded by our enemy! To know that if I stay on this path and hear the voice of my God…. to know that in doing this I will be able to hear strategies, plans and purposes from the very Throne of Heaven – it is worth it! The journey is rough but worth it! It can be scary but I am not in fear -regardless – it is worth it. Every step, every long night, every time I am out of breath, tired, frustrated, emotional, every time I stumble, every time I have a sleepless night, it matters not because it is worth it. The days are long and the nights are longer, but it is worth it! The endurance is tough and the terrain uneven, but –
IT IS AND WILL BE WORTH IT!!!
There are others assigned to me! People I may have never even met yet! The Lord knows who they are and if I can be a light to someone else, if I can take the weapons that were formed against me and use them against our common enemy, then I will be brave and fight on! I carry the sword of the Spirit and the shield of faith! I declare His word from my mouth! Eternity is forever and I intend to intervene in as many lives as I can for the good of the Kingdom and to ensure heaven is theirs! This season is different from the desert season three years ago….the desert season was a purging, a dismantling of everything I thought I was and all that I had become based on false responsibilities and lies of man. It was full of soul surgery and tears. No, this season is one of high stakes, yet there is laughter. It is one of great turmoil, yet I have peace. It is one that requires great skill, yet I make mistakes and I keep moving. It is a dichotomy to say the least. But, like King David said isn’t He sets a table before me in the presence of my enemies? What an awesome God we serve!
Therefore, I will continue to walk, one step at a time, sure footed and looking up! I will trust His still small voice even when the voices and cries of the wilderness jungle seek to drown it out! I will NOT fear! I will not be intimidated. I will not back up nor will I back down. No! I will move fearlessly in the strength of My God and when I reach the end of this path (season) to the clearing at the end of the jungle, what a victory I will enjoy and what a delight it will be!” I will emerge stronger and louder and full of faith and joy.”
In the words of the Apostle Paul : I don’t think the sufferings we are going through now are even worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us in the future. Romans 8:18 TCJB